PaxMann’s Top 5 Federal Election Grievances

10 Apr

It’s that time again……the one (and only) time in life I ever wish I was an American. That’s right, it’s federal election time! I’m sure the rest of you are just as excited as I am about this oncoming gong show, so to honor the ensuing adrenaline rush (or lack thereof) known as Canadian federal elections, I thought I’d compile a list of my top 5 federal election grievances.

5. Nobody votes anymore. Well I guess I shouldn’t say nobodythe average across Canada in the last election (2008) was 59.1%, an all-time low. Honestly, I don’t blame the 42.9% that didn’t show up to vote (for reasons that will be hashed out later in the top 5) but it is still a federal responsibility. Our not showing up to vote is not a solution to the snore-fest going down over in Ottawa. It’s called apathy, people, and apathy will not make our bland Canadian politics any jazzier! 

4. The lack of democracy in our so-called “democratic” nation. Ya sure we’re a democracy, everyone has a say, blah blah blah, etc. That all sounds well and good until it comes down to election time. Then only people living east of Manitoba and west of the Maritimes actually experience this elusive “democracy”. Let’s face it, by the time Ontario and Quebec vote, the game is all over and the new Canadian leadership is popping the cork.

3. Smear campaigns. It is extremely sad to me that the leaders of the major political parties today can’t just focus on the positives their parties bring to the table.Instead they feel the need to enter into this deranged, high school girl-esque feud where they gossip about their rivals with reckless abandon in an effort to bolster their image. Newsflash: it never really worked in high school, it’s definitely not going to impress us now. 

2. The leaders of all of the major parties seem sorta shady. I say this with complete honesty…everytime I see Jack Layton open his mouth I have to suppress the desire to face palm myself. The same goes for basically all of the other party leaders. They all seem kind of different in their own special ways (like most of us I guess). Except for Gilles Duceppe…I love that guy. He adds so much comic relief to the televised debates. If only I lived in Quebec….wait, what am I saying?!

1. Choosing between shades of grey. No one likes having to figure out whether marigold is better than sunflower on a paint swatch. The same goes for Canadian politics. You get to the polling station, look down at the voting card and realize, “Wow….this is why only 51.9% of Canadians voted last time”. Our Canadian political parties are all offering basically the same thing with slightly different flare. It’s infuriating and downright grievous…hence making it to the top of my grievances list. You know what would be great? If all of the parties were actually true to their foundations on the political spectrum. Now that would be some fun times.

It’s easy to make fun of our situation here in the north, but having said all of the above, voting is actually really important. So instead of being indifferent about the whole ordeal, attempt to discover what each party stands for and try to make an educated vote. I have a feeling that the more people we have participating in the vote, the more exciting it will become…….given time. As in, one day our grandchildren might actually enjoy voting. So even though voting is a fairly banal task for us today, one day our hard work pushing the pencil might bring about fireworks and a parade, or at least some balloon animals, for future generations.


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